Maysaloon - ميسلون

Stop the press! If you were thinking of criticising the Angry Arab's coverage of Syria - which is lousy - then think again. He has announced that, all this time, he has been indirectly in touch with a Syrian woman who has nowhere to go, in order to find a solution. I bet you all feel really silly now! And of course, not that the Angry Arab would ever let you forget, he has been - indirectly again - helping Western journalists enter Syria on a number of occasions. In fact, the entire Islamic flavour of the Free Syrian Army is a cleverly devised disguise. You see unbeknownst to the imperialists, the Angry Arab Brigade of Homs is waiting for when the time is right before announcing the People's Democratic Republic of Syria - with the Angry Arab as benevolent leader.

In light of the dire circumstances facing the Syrian people at the dawn of this new Marxist era, the glorious leader's first communique will be to restructure Arabic grammar to stipulate that the plural masculine and the plural feminine e.g. انظرو و انظرن be used - on pain of death - at each and every time that the plural is required. Those who denounce comrades who fail to do this will be awarded an Angry Arab Brother Leader multi-speed blender. Of course there will be no electricity to run it, so it can also be used as a doorstop or a very deep cornflakes bowl.